I got rid of something for good this week. It was something I have needed to do for a long long time. My heart feels lighter. My mind is not so clogged. I can see my future a little easier. I know how to ask God to show me what to do and then give it to Him and stop holding on. He showed me how to do this this week, and I am smiling because of it.
I am however, having a really hard time letting my oldest child grow up. He turned 16 in August, and as much as I am proud of him and all of his accomplishments and his choices in life, my heart aches that he does not "need" me like he used to. Today I stripped his bed of his sheets to add them to the laundry, and as I did, memories of him as a little 6 year old boy flooded my mind and heart. I don't do his laundry anymore, even his sheets, so today was out of the ordinary. It hit me like I had just run into a brick wall, that there really isn't much I have to do for him anymore! He is so self-sufficient and grown up. Of course I am extremely proud of him, and secretly I pat myself on the back for the good job I have done. He still hugs me good night most nights, and even though he towers over me, I still feel like I am hugging that 6 year old.
I asked Little Man to please put his shoes in their spot today and he said, "a-course I can" very matter-of-fact, and walked away. :) Tonight while tucking him in to bed, he asked me to sing the "special song Daddy sings". I told him I did not know that song but I could sing a different song. He said "you don't sing Mama, goodnight, I love you too." Daddy will love that. :)
Girly Girl and I have been doing great with home-schooling, but we both may have some big changes coming up very soon. When I know for sure what I am doing, I will share. Right now too much is all jumbled up in my mind and it is late. I think I'll watch a National Geographic special on Netflix and call it a night. :)