Since I wrote this Lay-it-all-out-there post, I have received so much....from YOU. :) Thank you all for your great comments and emails filled with such encouraging words. As much as I hate that this is happening to others I know, I am also breathing a little easier knowing that I am not alone. I got a message on my Facebook from a woman that I admire so much, and I believe I am changing right before my own eyes, ever since I read the message and began to follow her advice. She said that she went on a "worry fast" in her prayer life. She stopped, for one week, asking God for anything. Instead she turned it around and thanked Him for everything. Great things happened to her, and her she prays differently now. So, last night, while rocking Little Man to sleep, I did it. It was hard!! I just kept thanking Him for everything I do have. I thanked Him for a strong healthy husband who is able to do whatever work God brings his way. I thanked Him for the roof over our heads, and for the the food we do have. I thanked Him for three healthy kids that never get sick. I thanked Him for the kindness that the lady at the mortgage company had towards me when I called to discuss this month's mortgage payment. The list kept growing, and when I finished praying, I literally had a smile on my lips. I never asked Him for anything, not once. I got close with "Thank You Jesus, for already knowing what I need". :) I am excited to see what happens with this. Again, thank you dear friends, for being there out in this great big world. Thank you for caring. Please know that I think about all of you often, and pray for you too. I do not need to ask Him for friends....He has given me many. Thank You Jesus!
Time for a bit of honesty, I guess. Although there has been no dishonesty from me, so maybe that's not the right thing to call it. It's so easy here on my blog to post happy pictures, join blog hops, write cute things, comment away on other great blogs. It's telling the world how life really is that's not so easy. What do you know of me? I mean, really? Bits and Pieces, like the title of a friend's blog. I am a pretty easy person to please. Be my friend, mean what you say, say what you mean, and we'll get along great! I don't need much in this world, just the basic necessities, good health, and God. But I still don't do so great at not worrying. I worry all the time. But I do a great job at hiding it from everyone. I heard recently, a small devotional talk on vulnerability, and letting others in, letting others help you. That's hard for me. I like doing the helping. I like being the shoulder, not the one needing one.
The truth is, my husband and I are barely floating right now, financially. And its really getting to me, big time. We've pretty much all of our married life, been a paycheck to paycheck family, but always with the goal of doing better. Things just happen. Sickness, broken cars, preemies, prices of things sky-rocketing, and the list goes on. We don't use credit cards, and don't have any car payments. We buy things outright, or we don't buy them at all. Our kids have grown up, realizing that game night and campfires are as good as it gets, and I am so proud of them for thinking that's great, and enough. I want to give them the world, but I also know that this world is not what they need. We have been through rough spots before.....bad rough spots. But this time, I'm just scared. The DiSH is a self-employed carpenter, and does such a great job at every job that has come his way. He's sooo not afraid of hard work, and will do anything, in any weather, in order to provide for his family. He goes after jobs, talks to people, has his name out there. I know it's the economy. And probably where we live too. But we are counting dollars, picking which bill to pay, who do we call to say we can't pay this one or that one yet. I will admit too, to not eating fresh fruit and veggies half as much, because I want them to last....for the kids. I try and fill up on water. I have gotten really good at making "casseroles" with leftovers! :) Our few "extras", things we don't need, are netflix, internet and half and half. :) Soon, my friends, I may be keeping up my blog only by taking my laptop to my mom's house, and using her wifi. I have some possibilities for babysitting jobs, coming up real soon. That will definitely help.
I know God has a plan for us. I ask Him daily to help me stay on the right path, to see that plan fulfilled. I try my hardest to not try and take control, but instead lean on Him. Show me Thy ways, O Lord. I keep thinking, maybe He wants us to sell our house, and take our talents into the mission field somewhere.....the DiSH could build schools, and I could teach. Who knows? I'm open to that! I want to do His work. I don't want to be here on this earth any longer!
How do I pray to God, give Him my worries, and then do what you do next when you ask someone to do something for you: TRUST that they will. When I ask Mr. Smarty Pants to empty the dishwasher, I don't then continue to worry and reask and reask him to do it. I trust that he will. When I ask Girly Girl to watch Little Man while I take a shower, I don't stand in the shadows, watching to see if she really will. I trust that she will do it. When I ask the DiSH to lock the door each night before we go to bed, I don't go and check it myself to see if he did. I trust that he did it. Even Little Man......I ask him to eat his crackers, and I don't stand there to watch and make sure he does. I trust that he will. So it is with my Heavenly Father. He already knows my financial situation, and He knows what lies ahead. Selling our house before the bank takes it? A big build for the DiSH, so we can get back on our feet? An inheritance check we knew nothing about?! See??? I must stop this! I must trust that there IS a plan, that He is in charge, and I should be able to rest easy, do my part here in my home, and focus on His work.
Tonight I am having date night with the DiSH....around the campfire with no kids. It's free!! :) We'll talk, we'll laugh, we'll cry, we'll pray.
So, that's it for right now. There's my heart.
Does anyone need a garage built?! :)